Random Rant 11/3

There are a million words too describe emotions
And you wonder why I choose to use these words to do so
Why not just SPEAK how I feel, right?
But this challenges me…the outcome, I don’t know
I just choose to use my words to expand my knowledge
Of being able to express myself from a different outlet
Besides my mouth
You ever take the time to read a letter
That speaks the same words as a speech
But it touches you on another level as your
Eyes move across each word
Almost like reading a break-up letter
The words knock you down one by one
You have to go back and read again to make sure this is real
Yea, spoken words just don’t always have that effect you see
Especially with people who don’t take the time to listen
I know you hear me , but are you listening
These written words force you to listen, ya know.
Makes you experience those feelings on a different level
But, on the other hand, everyone doesn’t always have a way with words.
-B

10 Things I Want To Say To 10 People

(in no particular order)

1. From the day I laid eyes on you I knew we would be getting to know each other outside of that class. I've never met someone who intrigued me as much as you and that is a hell of a statement to make coming from me. You mean a lot to me and I hope you know that. I miss you. I miss the friendship.  I miss the music. I miss the poetry. You left without saying anything. It hurt. (JBB)

2.  It makes me so mad when you allow people to walk over you. In order to get what you deserve out of life, you have to stand up for yourself. You pray about your situations I'm sure, and I can see God blessing you with "opportunities" for growth, but it seems that you don't take advantage of those opportunities. You keep letting people get in the way and blocking your blessing. I just want you to succeed...(RMW)

3. Growing up I always worried about the man you would become. I always wondered what would be important to you and what elements you would allow to influence you throughout life. I'm proud to say that you are  headed in a positive direction. Just talking to you, even when we're just joking around, gives me confirmation that you are going to be great man. I love you so much! (SCH)

4.  I wrote a poem about you once. About the situation you put me through...us through. I'm sure you know I forgave you a while ago. Our relationship is better, not the best, but better. One day I'm going to let you read that poem. It's not meant to hurt you. I just want you to understand because I've been quiet too long.  I want you to know how I felt..because just like I never spoke about it...you never asked... (CSH)

5.  Who ever said males and females couldn't be JUST friends lied because we are living proof. You've been there for me a lot throughout the years and I wanna thank you. Never would I have thought that I would be so close to that lil dude I met in 7th grade.  You still owe me some Monday's, but I'm sure you know that already.  (SCP)

6. We were like siblings when we were younger. I miss that man. Like the big brother I never had. It kinda sucks that we only speak about twice a year. Gotta change that asap. (TDS)

7. When I first heard your music I fell in love. You were my future husband even though you didn't know it lol. You were weird...like me. And you weren't afraid to share that with people. I liked that. But then I was devestasted when I found out you did cocaine. It pretty much was a wrap from there. Recently you revealed that you are drug-free. I still haven't listened to any more of your music...but I plan on changing that....as soon as I get passed the fact that resemble this guy that I hate, but that's another story. (SRSM)

8. The way we came to be as got to be the most random story in the world. Our friendship is beyond odd in it's own special ways. Just so you know, I don't throw around the word friend  loosely.   (GDW)

9. Our future scares me sometimes. In an anxious kind of way.  (DOC)

10. Wow. Um, I still think about it...that summer. You know that. I cried as you left. I hope you didn't notice though. G's don't cry in front of people lol. Sometimes I wonder if you think about it....what you thought.....the randomness of how all of that came to be. Why me, ya know? I wanted to ask all of that while we were talking on the couch. I was hoping you saw it in my eyes or could read my thoughts or something....(TRM)