10 Things I Want To Say To 10 People

(in no particular order)

1. From the day I laid eyes on you I knew we would be getting to know each other outside of that class. I've never met someone who intrigued me as much as you and that is a hell of a statement to make coming from me. You mean a lot to me and I hope you know that. I miss you. I miss the friendship.  I miss the music. I miss the poetry. You left without saying anything. It hurt. (JBB)

2.  It makes me so mad when you allow people to walk over you. In order to get what you deserve out of life, you have to stand up for yourself. You pray about your situations I'm sure, and I can see God blessing you with "opportunities" for growth, but it seems that you don't take advantage of those opportunities. You keep letting people get in the way and blocking your blessing. I just want you to succeed...(RMW)

3. Growing up I always worried about the man you would become. I always wondered what would be important to you and what elements you would allow to influence you throughout life. I'm proud to say that you are  headed in a positive direction. Just talking to you, even when we're just joking around, gives me confirmation that you are going to be great man. I love you so much! (SCH)

4.  I wrote a poem about you once. About the situation you put me through...us through. I'm sure you know I forgave you a while ago. Our relationship is better, not the best, but better. One day I'm going to let you read that poem. It's not meant to hurt you. I just want you to understand because I've been quiet too long.  I want you to know how I felt..because just like I never spoke about it...you never asked... (CSH)

5.  Who ever said males and females couldn't be JUST friends lied because we are living proof. You've been there for me a lot throughout the years and I wanna thank you. Never would I have thought that I would be so close to that lil dude I met in 7th grade.  You still owe me some Monday's, but I'm sure you know that already.  (SCP)

6. We were like siblings when we were younger. I miss that man. Like the big brother I never had. It kinda sucks that we only speak about twice a year. Gotta change that asap. (TDS)

7. When I first heard your music I fell in love. You were my future husband even though you didn't know it lol. You were weird...like me. And you weren't afraid to share that with people. I liked that. But then I was devestasted when I found out you did cocaine. It pretty much was a wrap from there. Recently you revealed that you are drug-free. I still haven't listened to any more of your music...but I plan on changing that....as soon as I get passed the fact that resemble this guy that I hate, but that's another story. (SRSM)

8. The way we came to be as got to be the most random story in the world. Our friendship is beyond odd in it's own special ways. Just so you know, I don't throw around the word friend  loosely.   (GDW)

9. Our future scares me sometimes. In an anxious kind of way.  (DOC)

10. Wow. Um, I still think about it...that summer. You know that. I cried as you left. I hope you didn't notice though. G's don't cry in front of people lol. Sometimes I wonder if you think about it....what you thought.....the randomness of how all of that came to be. Why me, ya know? I wanted to ask all of that while we were talking on the couch. I was hoping you saw it in my eyes or could read my thoughts or something....(TRM)

ambition.

i had the longest conversation yesterday about how my motivational spirit had been lost recently due to unforeseen events. i was mentally stepping back into July 2010. i slept on it. i prayed. today i awakened clear-minded. refusing to allow myself to become who i was 10 months ago. i am not her. i will be relentless in my efforts to reach my goals. i am a go-getter. i will not let misfortunate events impose their negativity on me. i will not allow that to defeat me. i am stronger than that.

i am motivated.

Can I Be Great???

I always considered myself to be a humble individual, but evidently that’s not the vibe I give off to some others. Apparently, people think.. that I think… I’m “the shit”. I kinda laugh when I hear this because people will say they WANT you to be great….but they don’t want you to SAY you’re great. If I don’t think I’m “the bee's knees”, who will, right? Who am I to wait for validation of my phenomenality from someone else, right? I’m not afraid to say that I’m phenomenal, but don‘t misinterpret that as me being braggadocious. Yes, I do think I am a great person. Perfect? No. Better than you? That’s not for me to judge. As blunt as this may sound, I honestly believe people are shocked by my confidence and that confidence sometimes interferes with their insecurities. Thus, leading them to feel some type of way about me and claiming ..”Girl…she think she the shit!” Well girl…yea, sometimes I do.  Does that bother you? 

Put On Your Big Girl Panties!

As a woman in this world, it bothers me so much to be around other “women” who don’t know how to properly communicate with one another. Women will take the smallest, pettiest thing and blow it out of proportion when the problem could have been solved with a simple conversation. I’m a communicator. I’ll be damned if I walk around with a chip on my shoulder about anything. If I feel some type of way, it’ll get addressed…properly. Without an attitude, yelling or raising my voice. And that goes for any issue with anyone. 

We, as women, are naturally emotional if we like to admit it or not. I know that the simplest thing can set us off….be it that some female looked at you “the wrong way” or that someone’s remarks offended you.  It’s like, from jump, we’ll have an attitude when that girl MAY NOT have been looking at you or that no harm was meant by those remarks. If you feel offended or something bothered you , all you have to do is put on ya big girl draws and talk about it like an adult. Plain and simple. Swallow that pride, and COMMUNICATE!