I wanted this post to be a lot of things. Topics of friends, relationships, companionships, and the like. Past and Present. It slowly all boiled down to this. Leaves, Branches, and Roots.
Several people in my life, you know...the temporary kind, have been those leaves. They are there in abundance, but only stay for a season or two. With one strong gust of wind, they're gone. Never to be heard from again. That used to bother me, but I had to come to realize that every person that steps into my life isn't meant to remain there for a lifetime. Like leaves, they are just seasonal. Some placed in my life to help show me something important along my journey or just simply passing by.
The branches have to be the worst. Such a false sense of security, they lead you to believe that they are there for the long haul, but that's never the case. Just as fast as you lean on that branch for support, it'll break. I'v had people in my life that I thought would be there for me without a second thought in my mind..'cause I was there for them, ya know. Well when it was my turn for support they were no where to be found. Lesson learned.
Roots. A tree only needs a few roots to give it what it needs to survive. I have those roots. God. My family and loved ones. My very close circle of friends. Without a doubt in my mind, I know they're there for me and will always be.
Find out who your roots are and cherish them....everybody else just doesn't matter.
-B
Before I even decided that I would tell the story, I assumed I would be judged. I had never told anyone the truth about it. No one. Only bits and pieces that I felt I wouldn't put me in such a bad light. But this time, I felt as if I should finally let someone know what really happened during that 6 months. I paced around my bedroom as my roommate sat and waited for me to start. As usual, trying to make light of the story I was about to tell. I said, “Girl, don’t judge me”.
I started rambling, trying to remember all of the details chronologically. It was hard, being as I had put so much effort in blocking it all out. I continued to pace and looked my ceiling trying to get it out. She listened intently. I would glance over to see her reaction every time I would get to a part that would make me cringe. I was searching for that judgment in her facial expressions. About 30 minutes had passed and I was still rambling. Opening up like this was just not in my character, but I still felt as though it was necessary to finally tell that truth…as if it would relieve my conscious of all the half-truths I had told before.
Then I got towards the end of my story. Revealing how lonely I felt in the midst of my shit, how I never told anyone what I went through. I stopped pacing and stared at the ceiling for a moment. Tears welled up in my eyes and felt them slide down my face. I was angry with myself for allowing that situation to still affect me in that way…I was embarrassed that I was crying in front of her. I felt weak. I wiped the tears away as quickly as they fell. I ended the story and looked at her to see her reaction…waiting for the judgmental comments.
“[Brooklyn], I actually think that showed how strong you were.”
Out of all of the things that could have been said, that was the last thing I expected. I was slightly confused by it and wanted to know what would make a person think that after everything I had shared.
“Well, for a person to deal with something like that for so long by themselves and be able to talk about it now makes them a pretty strong person.”
I had to let it sink in. Thinking to myself, I did go through it alone.....but I got through it.
Friends of the opposite sex….while in a relationship. For some, this is a major issue. Why? For 2 major reasons (comment if you feel that I overlooked one).
1. Insecurities/Jealousy. This is the number one reason why both men and women have problems with their significant others being friends with someone of the opposite sex. They feel threatened by that friendship. I can admit that I was that type of girlfriend before and let me say, it is not a good “headspace” to be in. Not only does it show lack of trust, but it will drive you crazy over-analyzing every little detail of that situation. If you put that much effort into wondering if your girlfriend/boyfriend’s “opposite sex friendships” are more than just friendships, you shouldn’t be in a relationship. In it’s simplest form, the only difference between friendships and relationships is intimacy, so yes, I can understand the territorial instinct to want your significant other to yourself and want that unique bond/closeness. Maybe your boyfriend/girlfriend has been friends with this person for 10 years and you’ve only been together with him/her for 1 year and you feel you have to compete for that attention or compete with that higher level of bond that they have…that’s all a part of you feeling insecure within that situation. If you feel some type of way, address it PROPERLY, but at the end of the day, who are you to TELL your significant other they can’t be friends with someone of the opposite sex, let along hang with or talk to other males/females? That’s something that is going to naturally occur in everyday life.
2. People actually believe that men and women can’t be JUST friends. I neverrrr understood that! I can personally speak on this matter. I have several good, male friends that I talk to almost everyday, including one my closest friends…neither of which I have EVER been inclined to move past anything more than a friendship with... Never. Love em to death, but do I think about them beyond our platonic friendship? Negative. And I’m 100% sure they would say the same.
Now I would address the significant factor of “cheating” in this post because, of course, that could possibly play a role in the situation, but that’s a whole ‘nother rant. Nonetheless, how do you feel about your significant other having friends of the opposite sex? Do you think there should be “guidelines” in place, do you not care because you trust your significant other 100%? What are your thoughts?
Comment below!!
I have a little too say about a lot of things….so just let me vent.
A Bit of a Bitch (and no, I don’t care if that word offends you)
Yea, I can be a bit of a bitch and I know it. I would apologize for using that vernacular, but I don’t apologize for things that I meant to say. I’m opinionated. Go figure. I have a slight problem with keeping that opinion to myself. Why do I consider it a problem, you ask? Because not every human being is built to handle a person, like myself, with such a strong opinion. They’ll get offended, they’ll claim that you always think you’re right, they’ll say you hurt their feelings, and they‘ll even go so far as to say “omg, she‘s such a bitch“. Wow, well, I’m sorry that you allowed my “opinion” to effect you on such a great level….okay, maybe I’m not sorry.
Word is Bond
When people tell me that they’re going to do something, I have this terrible habit of actually believing them. Sucks for me, right? I swear I feel like people have never heard the phrase “word is bond”. Guess that’s irrelevant now that it’s 2011 and all.
P.S.
Period Symptoms. It seems that I’ve been blessed with the world’s worst mood swings. They’re to blame for this post.
#OkBye
