Dreams

I’ve always dreamt of being a Publicist and Graphic Designer.  I went to school for 4.5 years in pursuit of this dream. Now I am here; 4 months post-grad and debating what if I should go back to school for Accounting or Counseling. What. The. Hell. I’m not meant to be an accountant. Or a teacher. Or a counselor. So what the hell am I doing, right? All my life I’ve known that I was meant to be a Publicist and Graphic Designer. After a much needed wake up call, I have come to the conclusion that I am afraid to succeed and actually live my dreams. This fear is multiplied by the fact that I feel I am not qualified or knowledge enough to live out my dream. I feel that if I own the title of "Brandi Heath, Publicist & Graphic Designer”,  I will somehow be fooling others into thinking I am more than what I am. I feel like I would fail.

But the hard truth is that I am qualified. No, I don’t know everything about PR, nor have I mastered every single Adobe application. But I am skilled in some areas. I shouldn’t feel like this after studying and practicing my craft on a regular basis for all these years. I’ve got to be more confident in myself.

And I have to start somewhere. No one was born with all the knowledge they needed to succeed. It was gained over time. I feel that it’s time for me to step out on a ledge and finally take that leap towards my dream. I’d hate myself if I didn’t. 


-Brandi, Dream Chaser

Fifty Shades Fooled

Unsurprisingly, I have been indulging in the new “it” book series, Fifty Shades. Several friends and I have been reading and discussing these books. Through these discussions, I have come to two conclusions. 1. This is a damn good read. 2. This series, based on the 2/3 books I’ve finished, is targeted to the type of woman I’d like to call “The Healer”. 


“The Healer” is the woman who sees a man not for what he is, but for the potential he has to be a better him. She wants to help him see this potential like she sees it and wants to be that person to change him into that better guy. 


And I’m not here to judge those types of women, hell I’ve foolishly been that person before; trying to turn a pauper into a prince.  Trying to change a man.  I‘m here to throw out a little advice…. NOT GON’ HAPPEN! *NewNew Voice* 


I think this series is definitely a great read, but could possibly give hope to those women that think they can change a man. A man is not going to change until he is ready. Do not fall for the foolishness that E. L. James is serving you. He is not going to miraculously change overnight. You can motivate him, try to talk to get to the root of the issues, fight with him, but none of that is going to work in the real world unless he, himself, is ready to become a better man.


All opinion everything. What do you think?

I Wonder

I feel disconnected. From my surroundings and many of the people in it. I feel stagnant. It's ironic that I am feeling this way amidst the approach of one of the greatest achievements of my life; I'm 3 months from graduating from college. I don't know where I'm headed, but I do know some things. I know who I am, I know where I want to be, and I know where I don't want to be. 

I always have this thought: If I were to die today, what legacy would I leave behind? Who's life did I change? What contributions did I make during my time on this earth? Did I waste away the time that God so graciously gave me?

Sometimes I feel like I do. Sometimes I feel like I'm not living up to my full potential. Like I said, I know where I wanna be and what it takes to get there. Sometimes I just scare myself with my lack of drive I have to just get up and do it. Sometimes I wonder if it's just my fear of actually succeeding that holds me back. Sometimes I wonder about a lot of things. 

Random Rant 7/4

I actually sat to myself and thought...why should i be ashamed that my emotions are attached to sexual acts. Why would I pride myself on being able to have sex with a person with no type of emotional attachment? Attached.  Whatever. Call me what you want. Label me what you please, but i know who I am. Im a very emotionally connected, loving individual. And sex is just one of the many ways I express that. Should I change who I am just to fit the standard that everyone else has set for such a beautiful act? just so I won't be labeled as Attached? hell no. my body is much more valuable than that. my values consist of much more than that. If emotionless sex is all you have to offer me. Sir, keep it moving.  

“If I can only have a piece of you, then I gotta say peace to you…”