The conversation went on and I brought up the fact that I have a “list“….an actual, physical list of qualities that I desire in a guy. I proceeded to pull my list out of my drawer and my roomies started laughing! Lol, but I was dead serious. On this list, I had two columns. One side represented everything that I seek in a guy that I will not compromise on; if the guy does not possess that quality, characteristic, etc., I just can’t deal with them. The other side represented everything that I seek in guy that I am willing to compromise on…more so my preferences. They passed around the list, reading out some of the things I had listed, and we all agreed on the majority of those traits When I get a chance, I will post the list in its entirety. But my questions to you all are: What are some of the qualities that you look for (or avoid) in a mate? Do women (or men) look for too much (or too little) when it comes to relationships?
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Relationship Standards!
So one night as I was talking to all of my roomies, the topic of relationships/men came up. Typical girl talk, right lol. And everyone had there separate opinions about the topic. “The man for me is not in Tennessee.”, “Every guy I’ve met since I’ve been here sucks”, so on and so forth. As the conversation progressed we ended up talking about what qualities we look for in a guy a.k.a. “standards”. I cringe when I hear a guy saying how women ask for “too much” in a relationship. I, myself, believe this: In a relationship, I expect a guy to be able to bring to the table the same things I can bring to the table, or better if applicable lol (ie. Honesty, loyalty, spirituality, intelligence, open-mindedness, support, being understanding, good communicator, employed etc.). I’ve been in many situations where I found myself to be bringing WAY more to the table than the guy. I had to grow and mature out of that stage…QUICKLY! Yes, I naturally possess the trait to be a helper and a nurturer, but I can only do so much. I look back and notice that I was trying to change that guy into what I knew he had the potential to be. I’ve lead many guys to the water hoping that they would take a drink…damn near wanting to force them, but that’s not how it works. People have to take that drink on their own…..deciding to change for the better on their own. After dealing with such foolishness lol, I came to the conclusion that I can’t keep trying to go into a situation trying to heal people; just because I can see the potential in them to be a good mate, doesn’t mean that they will automatically see that potential and want to change. I have to only step into situations where I can deal with that individual, happily, on the level that they already are on…..not hope that they will step it up eventually. Ya feel me?
The conversation went on and I brought up the fact that I have a “list“….an actual, physical list of qualities that I desire in a guy. I proceeded to pull my list out of my drawer and my roomies started laughing! Lol, but I was dead serious. On this list, I had two columns. One side represented everything that I seek in a guy that I will not compromise on; if the guy does not possess that quality, characteristic, etc., I just can’t deal with them. The other side represented everything that I seek in guy that I am willing to compromise on…more so my preferences. They passed around the list, reading out some of the things I had listed, and we all agreed on the majority of those traits When I get a chance, I will post the list in its entirety. But my questions to you all are: What are some of the qualities that you look for (or avoid) in a mate? Do women (or men) look for too much (or too little) when it comes to relationships?
The conversation went on and I brought up the fact that I have a “list“….an actual, physical list of qualities that I desire in a guy. I proceeded to pull my list out of my drawer and my roomies started laughing! Lol, but I was dead serious. On this list, I had two columns. One side represented everything that I seek in a guy that I will not compromise on; if the guy does not possess that quality, characteristic, etc., I just can’t deal with them. The other side represented everything that I seek in guy that I am willing to compromise on…more so my preferences. They passed around the list, reading out some of the things I had listed, and we all agreed on the majority of those traits When I get a chance, I will post the list in its entirety. But my questions to you all are: What are some of the qualities that you look for (or avoid) in a mate? Do women (or men) look for too much (or too little) when it comes to relationships?
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This is a really interesting one...I think us females sometimes expect way 2 much out of guys..sometimes its better 2 just go with the flow for example I recently had my heart broken by a guy I thought was THE one 4 me but wen I look back I can say that it was worth it bcuz instead of having a list I just went with the flow and waited 2 see what he had 2 offer on his own and I was truely happy for once its when I began 2 get greedy and seek things from him that were out of the norm that I began 2 become unhappy bcuz I was tryna make him someone he was not!
ReplyDeleteI feel like guys dont set their standards high enough for women..the good ones often put up with our jacked up attitudes and bitterness towards men n will never say a thing wen I feel like as a man they should put us in check that way we will appreciate a good one wen we have then n stop fallin 4 these no good ones bcuz they tell us wat we wanna hear instead of being real..
So, 2 answer ur question women expect 2 much and men dont expect enough if u ask me!