Tweets #1

Sometimes I  randomly start tweeting and then realize I wish I had blogged about that instead...lol but hey...read from bottom to top (time stamps).

Relationship Standards!

      So one night as I was talking to all of my roomies, the topic of relationships/men came up. Typical girl talk, right lol. And everyone had there separate opinions about the topic. “The man for me is not in Tennessee.”, “Every guy I’ve met since I’ve been here sucks”, so on and so forth. As the conversation progressed we ended up talking about what qualities we look for in a guy a.k.a. “standards”. I cringe when I hear a guy saying how women ask for “too much” in a relationship. I, myself, believe this: In a relationship, I expect a guy to be able to bring to the table the same things I can bring to the table, or better if applicable lol (ie. Honesty, loyalty, spirituality, intelligence, open-mindedness, support, being understanding, good communicator, employed etc.).  I’ve been in many situations where I found myself to be bringing WAY more to the table than the guy. I had to grow and mature out of that stage…QUICKLY! Yes, I naturally possess the trait to be a helper and a nurturer, but I can only do so much. I look back and notice that I was trying to change that guy into what I knew he had the potential to be.  I’ve lead many guys to the water hoping that they would take a drink…damn near wanting to force them, but that’s not how it works. People have to take that drink on their own…..deciding to change for the better on their own.  After dealing with such foolishness lol, I came to the conclusion that I can’t keep trying to go into a situation trying to heal people; just because I can see the potential in them to be a good mate, doesn’t mean that they will automatically see that potential and want to change. I have to only step into situations where I can deal with that individual, happily, on the level that they already are on…..not hope that they will step it up eventually. Ya feel me?
     The conversation went on and I brought up the fact that I have a “list“….an actual, physical list of qualities that I desire in a guy. I proceeded to pull my list out of my drawer and my roomies started laughing! Lol, but I was dead serious. On this list, I had two columns. One side represented everything that I seek in a guy that I will not compromise on; if the guy does not possess that quality, characteristic, etc., I just can’t deal with them. The other side represented everything that I seek in guy that I am willing to compromise on…more so my preferences. They passed around the list, reading out some of the things I had listed, and we all agreed on the majority of those traits  When I get a chance, I will post the list in its entirety. But my questions to you all are: What are some of the qualities that you look for (or avoid) in a mate? Do women (or men) look for too much (or too little) when it comes to relationships?

My One Month Challenge!

So today is December 1st! Marks one month (or something like) that  I started my "No Fast Food/ No Take-Out Challenge! Around the end of October, I got really disgusted with how much money I was spending on food and what that food consisted of. I'm pretty sure the guy that answers the phones at Marco's Pizza knows my voice LOL. So on October 27th I told myself that I would not spend one dime on food that is not home cooked! And guess what....I did just that!  Every meal I ate from that day until now has been cooked at home. When I tell you this was a huge change for me...childdd! I was so accustomed to coming home from class, tired, and ordering up some food as I laid back in my bed watching television. That just had to change!  Through the process I learned a lot and became super motivated about so much other stuff in my life. Who would have thought that changing what I ate would affect other aspects of my life, right? It was a very exciting experience for me. I learned new recipes  (couldn't keep eating the same thing all month ya know LOL, learned to manage my time better, saved some money, and even lost about 10 pounds! I'm so proud of myself! I plan to do the same thing for the month of December, but I want to make it even more challenging this time around. How I plan to do that? I'm not completely sure yet, but I am up for that challenge. Wish me luck! ^_^

The Journey

A couple of weeks ago, I came across this article called "'There' Don't Even Exist". It basically talked about the common saying, "It's not about the destination, but the journey", in which I completely agree with. As a college student, I can't tell you how many times I hear  people talking about " I can't wait until I finish school and get a 'job'"or "I can't wait to graduate so I can start my life". I always want to put in my two cents, but I just hold my tongue and throw in a few "mhm's" since everybody can't handle my opinions lol.  But, as I read the article, they put how I felt about this topic perfectly:

"And if you really wanna take it a tad bit deeper, “there” doesn’t even exist.  As soon as you get “there” you are “here”. Present in the current day and looking, yet again, toward a false impression that life is a destination when it truly is on big, wild ass journey....Don’t worry about getting to an end point because there isn’t one.  The concept of getting "there" is a myth. Pay attention to what’s happening today because you are sitting in the midst of your most critical time period."

I felt as though she was typing this using my fingers, because this is exactly how I feel.


"Once I graduate from school.." You graduate, then what?
 "Once I get this job..." You get it, then what? 
"Once I  start a family..." You pop out some kids, then what? 
"Once I  get this house..."You get it, then what? 
"Once I get there...." You made it "there", now what?


People are also focused on that endpoint that the journey is not fully appreciated. So rushed to move on to the next thing, they forget to enjoy the journey in which they took to get "there". I never really hear people sit back and talk about how the memories they've had along away, just about those "oh so important" destinations. It kind of saddens me because I sit and think, is that what people really feel is important? Making it to that next step...just like everybody else? So focused on moving to the next thing, but not realizing where you are now...and enjoying it?

"Now is where it all goes down.  Now is what determines what happens next and how far you’ll actually go.  Now is where the plays count, and now determines whether or not you’ll make it to the Super Bowl.   Just stop focusing ON the Super Bowl so much and build.  The rest will come."

Options.

I’m in a mood to talk about this for some reason. I’ve been “single” for the past 6 months. I’ve been interested in several people, no so interested in others. I’ve learned to keep my options open. Not with the intention of being with more than one individual because I’m the monogamous type, but to be able to choose to put my time and effort into the situation that’ll be most worthwhile. I thought I’d share a little something about some of the individuals who’ve caught my eye over this 6 month period...in  no particular order.


Mr. [Brown Skin]
I’ve never been attracted to a person that I  know JUST physically …until I came across this fine specimen! LOL!  Technically I’ve known him since grade school, but we didn’t get back in contact until this year. And let me say, when I saw him my mouth dropped! Athletic body, Brown skinned, Sexy smile, Nice haircut. The brotha looked GOOD! Then, once we began conversing I got the (metaphorical) balls to ask for his number…because his conversation intrigued me. After texting him on maybe two occasions, I wasn’t really expecting to hear from him…but I did. He started  checking up on me every now and then, and that really caught my attention. Through these conversations I found that he had a lot going for himself and that surprisingly, he wasn’t cocky. That came as a total shock because as stated before….he is sexy. But I digress, I was very interested in him and still am very intrigued by him. I know we’ll only be friends, which I am happy with.


Mr. [ Motivation] 
I’ve been friends with him only since this summer. He seemed like a cool person to get to know, so that’s what we did. It got to the point where we would communicate with each other on a daily basis. I wasn’t initially attracted to him, but that slowly began to change as I got to know him more. I found him to be the most motivating person ever. He seemed to be so goal-orientated and he didn’t let anything get in the way of what he needed to accomplish. We started hanging out more often and then he popped this question on me. The question I will not reveal lol, but I went along with it. I really can be myself around him and I haven’t felt that type of comfort in a while. 


Mr. [Moving Too Fast]
I’ve been friends with him since late spring of this year. He was a really cool person and it got to the point where we’d talk everyday even though we were miles away from each other. Our bond grew so fast! I felt like we were best friends in such a short period of time. I think, in a way, this is where things went wrong. We made the decision to actually be together. Yes, this is the one month relationship. I should have stopped things as soon as I felt them moving too fast, but I didn’t.  The time we spent together was great, but I knew it wouldn’t work on the path that it was headed, so I stopped it after a month of us being in a relationship. We are still great friends ‘til this day, but only that.


Mr. [Words, No Action]
I’ve been knowing him since I was about 16. Always knew he was interested in me, but I was always taken. He truly caught my eye during his freshmen year in college. I was like “damn…when did he start lookin so good” lol. He still expresses interest in me and I do to him as well now, but it never goes further than that. We always “sort of” make plans to hang out, but he never really acts on them when the time comes. We haven’t done any of that get to know each other stuff, so that leads me to believe that he only wants one thing. I mean he’ll SAY how he likes me and wants to spend time together, but doesn’t ACT like it. Where’s the effort? I hate to jump to conclusions, but show me otherwise… I can’t keep putting effort into something that just might not truly be worth it.


Mr. [ Consistently Inconsistent ]
I’ve been interested him since this summer…when we took that art class together. You know those butterflies you get when you see someone, yea I got those every time I’d look up and see him shooting that beautiful smile my way. He has to have the sexiest voice that has ever graced my presence..deep and powerful. That type where, when he speaks, it sort of demands attention. Great conversation. Goals. Wonderful taste in music and even sings! Loves the Lord! He was a breath of fresh air. I couldn’t wait to get to know him better! Unfortunately, communication wasn’t consistent enough for that to happen properly. We’ve been out together several times, but the communication just isn’t completely there. Again, I ask, where’s the effort?  It’s funny that I still have hope for the situation, but who knows right?

Rant....for 2010

Childdddddd, if this year wasn’t filled with lessons learned….Went through my ups and downs….mostly downs. Rock bottom that is…. and I pretty much felt alone through it all which made it a tad bit rougher. I blamed a lot of people for a while and felt bitter about it…but I had to realize I can’t expect people to be there for me if they never knew there was a problem there to begin with, right? Then again I juggled with the whole idea of “well if they’re my friends, shouldn’t they ask?” And I now look back and fault myself for being that way. Just so hard for me to be that person crying on someone’s shoulder. If you know me well, you know I’m usually not that person. I used to pride myself on being that  type, but of course it was a façade. I’m a softy at heart. But at the end of the day, I made it through with dried tears on my face and a smile.  Tons of knowledge gained. Higher level of mental endurance. More accepting of those “well it’s life…and that’s how life goes sometimes” moments…because it’s just that….life. And I felt that this year I wasn’t living….alive, yes…..living no. I have so much I want to accomplish in life and I can’t do that by sitting on my ass. I’ve worked on a lot of things within myself this year….growing as a person you know…that whole  “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” thing…yea that was me in 2010. Now I have to work on other things within myself for and during this upcoming year, but it feels different this time. Like I have this new sense of awareness about life and it’s happenings…and I say this with the risk of sounding deep lol. But as crappy as this year has been, I’m beyond inspired. Lifted, if you will. Ready to start living, ya know. And I plan to do just that. Gotta make a name for myself in this world. -B ♥

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