Rant....for 2010

Childdddddd, if this year wasn’t filled with lessons learned….Went through my ups and downs….mostly downs. Rock bottom that is…. and I pretty much felt alone through it all which made it a tad bit rougher. I blamed a lot of people for a while and felt bitter about it…but I had to realize I can’t expect people to be there for me if they never knew there was a problem there to begin with, right? Then again I juggled with the whole idea of “well if they’re my friends, shouldn’t they ask?” And I now look back and fault myself for being that way. Just so hard for me to be that person crying on someone’s shoulder. If you know me well, you know I’m usually not that person. I used to pride myself on being that  type, but of course it was a façade. I’m a softy at heart. But at the end of the day, I made it through with dried tears on my face and a smile.  Tons of knowledge gained. Higher level of mental endurance. More accepting of those “well it’s life…and that’s how life goes sometimes” moments…because it’s just that….life. And I felt that this year I wasn’t living….alive, yes…..living no. I have so much I want to accomplish in life and I can’t do that by sitting on my ass. I’ve worked on a lot of things within myself this year….growing as a person you know…that whole  “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” thing…yea that was me in 2010. Now I have to work on other things within myself for and during this upcoming year, but it feels different this time. Like I have this new sense of awareness about life and it’s happenings…and I say this with the risk of sounding deep lol. But as crappy as this year has been, I’m beyond inspired. Lifted, if you will. Ready to start living, ya know. And I plan to do just that. Gotta make a name for myself in this world. -B ♥